Scotch, The Alternate Sacremental Wine

I had some scotch again tonight.  I don't usually have drinks two nights in a row, but tonight was an exception.  Actually I did not have drinks last night so, technically, I will not have had drinks two nights in a row until I have drinks tomorrow night, which I plan to do so it's the same thing.  I think. Right?  Anyway I don't want to drink two nights in a row because it seems excessive.  I don't want to be an alcoholic.  I try to limit my drinking to 1 night every week or two.  Why am I talking about drinking?  Isn't that one of the signs of alcoholism?  If you are not drinking, you are talking about drinking. 

I like scotch, cheap scotch, not single malt, expensive scotch.  I am not a scotch snob, I just want a cheap blended scotch.  Some of the bars in the small towns around here don't understand scotch.  They seem to think that if you want scotch, you want some expensive 18 year old liquid for which they can charge you $9.00.  I do not want a $9.00 drink.  I just want scotch.  I guess people who usually order scotch around here don't care about the cost.  If it is 18 years old and has a prestigious name, then it must be good, so they sip it and comment on its body and flavor and everyone thinks they are wise in the ways of good liquor.  Maybe they are wise or at least knowledgeable, but not me.  If you intend to sip on an ounce and a half of scotch for two hours, you will not be concerned about the cost.  In order to get the result I am looking for I need to have consumed 5 or 6 ounces in that same 2 hours.  That would cost me $27.00.  Scotch is here for one purpose, and only one purpose.  That purpose is to get you feeling good.  To get your otherwise slow tongue moving a little faster.  To release some of your inhibitions so that you can say what you really think without caring so much about how it sounds to others.  I like scotch for two reasons: 1. it tastes better to me than other hard liquors, and 2. It tastes bad enough to me that I will never drink it just for the taste. 

I guess you have figured out by now that this writing has nothing to do with sacraments.  Sorry about that, but it is a Christian blog, so if I wanted to write about scotch, I had to make some religious reference somewhere.  Why not the title?